2019.04.29

Game of Thrones HBO The Long Night episode 70 dragon

Going a little outside the normal post fare, but after a controversial GoT semi-finale, there were some fun reads on the song of ice and fire subreddit.

Simpsons worst episode ever Comic Book Guy

It's kind of like ^^^, kind of insightful, and a generally funny commentary. Spoilers, obviously.
Shaky tactics

Game of Thrones HBO The Long Night episode 70 Dothraki charge tactics

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The Dothraki charge in the beginning was the most glorious Leroy Jenkins of all time.

The lights going out was a cool shot. Terrible strategy, but a cool shot.

If the Dothraki went out with their scythes sheathed and engaged using volleys of dragonglass arrows from a distance the whole way back in a controlled retreat (while the trebuchets keep firing) behind Winterfell. Wait for the dead to engage the unsullied then came back with scythes that would've been cool. I feel like they (the directors) could have used decent tactics and still had the undead army roll the living through sheer numbers. But to see the living spend lives so carelessly, knowing they also join the undead was annoying. Pouring flaming oil from the walls down onto the human ladders seemed like a good idea too. Maybe Sansa just got sick of the horses eating all the food.

Game of Thrones HBO The Long Night episode 70 zombie Night King

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The Night King blew a million-to-one lead.

He didn't need to be there! Dude take a knee and run out the clock lol.

The fucking Atlanta Falcons of Westeros.
Plot armor

Game of Thrones HBO The Long Night episode 70 dragon Sam plot armor

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WAY more named characters survived than I thought would.

Every time a first tier character was about to be overwhelmed and killed, the zerg mysteriously thinned to a trickle.

Right? It almost felt like a continuity error between some of the shots. It's not like they couldn't have gotten away with writing it such that the main characters survived, just don't show them swarmed by supposedly-formidable foes. On the other hand, how many characters do you need for three more episodes?

Game of Thrones HBO The Long Night episode 70 Joer Mormont charge

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Jorah should've died offscreen [in the initial charge]. It would've raised the stakes right at the beginning of the battle and convinced you that major characters could be killed without more than a passing mention.

Game of Thrones HBO The Long Night episode 70 Grey Worm plot armor

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Biggest twist: Grey Worm survived.

"I'm 3 days from retirement!" And retire he did.
An anticlimax

Game of Thrones HBO The Long Night episode 70 Night King

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I really, really, wanted the Night King and Bran to talk. Or have some final interaction.

I honestly feel slightly cheated by how fast the Night King died.
I was waiting for his first words every time we saw him. All we got was a smile of sorts, which indicates that he’s a conscious, thinking being. Would have been great to learn anything at all about the nature of the threat that has been central to this show since the prologue.

"Excuse me but I was paid to raise my arms ominously while staring at people, not read lines" - The Night's King's Actor.

Having not read the books, the Night King always felt like a zombie with a strong grasp on reality. I suppose the text built him up more as a character.

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So, I guess Cersei is the final boss then. All that build up to the supernatural stuff and it ended up not mattering that much in the end.

While a violent denouement and/or anticlimactic ending would be fitting to the series, it does seem like it's hard to follow up defeating a supernatural, existential threat.
Azor Ahai

Game of Thrones HBO The Long Night episode 70 Arya

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Yall liked Arya too much and look what happened!

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Fuck marching everyone down to fight Cersei, just let Arya do it herself real quick
Why was Bran warging?

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There are a few options here:

  • Good writing. He was doing something mystical and meaningful and it's going to make sense in the end.

  • Bad writing. He was doing something that the audience is supposed to assume is mystical and meaningful and they will never explain it (see Lost).

  • Really bad writing. He was doing something that was supposed to be clear to the audience but obviously wasn't (such as luring the Night King).


I'm sort of leaning towards option 2 right now because I was pretty disappointed that nothing interesting about the Night King was revealed before he died. I thought maybe he was a historic figure with an interesting purpose instead of some sort of ice Terminator that is just designed to kill people and especially Bran.

I think he was watching the battle and figuring out the final move. It took until right before he told Theon that he’s a good man. Then he knew telling him that would give Arya time to sneak through.

I would've appreciated if Bran at least gathered a huge fucking murder of crows to swoop in and just annoy and distract to help Arya get her big moment. Instead he just fucking played on Twitter.

Bran: "Hey NK. What do you call a flock of crows?"
NK: Just stands there
Arya: Jumps in from the void. "A murder!" stabs stabs stabs

Congrats you’re now the head writer of Season 9.
Looking south

Game of Thrones HBO The Long Night episode 70 The Hound Sandor Clegane

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Looks like Clegane Bowl is back on the menu boys

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Okay hold-up, how the fuck did the preview show so many surviving Northeners? Where the fuck were they hiding? ESPECIALLY the Unsullied!

They were on the other side of the castle. After the battle is over:
"Where the fuck were you guys?!"
"Oh shit that thing with the Night King was today?"
"Coming from the North? I thought you said Sorth."

I guess if everyone's plot armor is still in good condition, they'll be able to walk through Cersei's forces.
The anti-GRRM


Classic Martin quote:

Much as I admire Tolkien, and I do admire Tolkien — he’s been a huge influence on me, and his Lord of the Rings is the mountain that leans over every other fantasy written since and shaped all of modern fantasy — there are things about it, the whole concept of the Dark Lord, and good guys battling bad guys, Good versus Evil, while brilliantly handled in Tolkien, in the hands of many Tolkien successors, it has become kind of a cartoon. We don’t need any more Dark Lords, we don’t need any more, ‘Here are the good guys, they’re in white, there are the bad guys, they’re in black. And also, they’re really ugly, the bad guys.

And back to Reddit:

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I watched a video on YouTube the other day about the difference in the boom seasons and post book seasons. The book seasons follow GRRM's style of logic and realism. GRRM sets the chess table as it were and then asks himself what the logical outcome of any particular meeting, or action, or interaction would have.
The post-bokk seasons are a set-up payoff style of writing. The writers want Jorah to redeem himself and save Dany? Okay let's figure out a way we can make that happen. If if it's not logical or realistic.

This was always what set the series apart for me.

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It actually seemed like the plot of it all was "geopolitics may seem important, but actually aren't in the face of a looming apocalypse everyone is ignoring because they'd rather play geopolitics"
alas

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Based on what we have seen of the White Walkers and their powers, I think the only satisfying way of ending the show is with the army of the dead destroying all human life in Westeros, with the human houses fighting amongst themselves until it is too late. The last scene should have been the Night King taking his seat on the Iron Throne (or destroying the Iron Throne, since there is no one left to meaningfully rule over). It should have been a parable about the shortsightedness of the egotistical persuit of power.

That was the GRRM ending we all hoped for.

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You either die a well-written villain, or live long enough to become a trope-filled hero.

via Gfycat